You Want A Cookie?

For the past couple of months, I have been debating whether or not to keep my blog going. I love what I do with it, but I have been trying to find other ways to branch out past product reviews. Although I’m making this a review, I am thankful it landed in my lap. It’s helped me decide the direction I want to go in, as well as having some bomb ass cookies to go with it.

I was doing my Monday morning walk when I received an email from a woman with the company Naughty Cookie Box. In the email, she proceeded to tell me how much she enjoyed my blog and mentioned wanting to send me some of her cookies. I already love a good cookie, but when I saw the wide variety of naughty designs ranging from character penises, to mini ones with faces (my fave by the way), I knew I had to take her up on the offer.  After chatting back and forth with Elizabeth, I was excited to see how these cookies were. I got the package with the cookies two days later, and I wasn’t disappointed.20161001_213012

When I received the package, it was in a very discreet, brown box. Upon opening the box, I could tell that Elizabeth takes great pride in her products from the time they are made until the customer gets them. Each one was individually wrapped, heat-sealed, and then closed with a bread tie to ensure freshness. They were wrapped in bubble wrap, and brown crinkle paper to make sure that all of them made it through the ride. I am happy to report that not only were the cookies absolutely hilarious, but they were also intact, which is a pretty great accomplishment. You can tell by looking at them, that there is lots of detail and pride put into her work. I have seen naughty cookies before, but these made me laugh my ass off. There was one mini dick in the collection she sent me, jacking off, with crossed eyes. How could you not like something like that? It hit me that the eyes were crossed when I was staring it down after indulging in some munchies. It was very, very hard not to eat him. In fact, the only problem I have with the cookies is the battle on whether to eat them or show them off.

20161002_180602.jpg

Although aesthetically hilarious, it wouldn’t be so funny if the taste test came up short. Lucky for me, not only are they great to look at; they’re tasty as well. The cookies are a delightful mixture of hard with a little bit of softness, (not like Natural Valley crunchy), they have a sweet buttery vanilla flavor to them. They almost remind me of the cookies that come in a tin around the holiday, which happen to be a big deal for me. They were just the right amount of sweet without being overwhelming, the type of cookies I can eat all in one sitting.

I’m glad that I was able to have the chance to “meet” Elizabeth and find out about her excellent company. She is a true sweetheart, and you can tell she enjoys what she does. Every interaction I have had with her has been pleasant, and I am excited to do business with her in the future. Although I have been having issues deciding what to do with my blog, the very kind note she left me has motivated me to keep it alive. The timing of these cookies couldn’t have been any better. Seriously, if you need naughty cookies for an occasion, I would say to contact Elizabeth at Naughty Cookie Box and make her your go to. The cookie game has officially been changed.

Relax, Don’t Do It: My First Time Edging

 

I am always looking for ways to enhance my sex life whether solo or with a partner. For the past couple of months, I have heard a lot about edging. For those of you who aren’t familiar with what that is, it’s the practice of orgasm control in which the person receiving gets right to the brink of an orgasm and stops right before climax. You can stop as many times in a session as you would like. The result is said to produce a mind blowing orgasm. My first edging session I stopped ten times before I let myself come to a complete orgasm, and let me tell you, it was incredible.

Edging has been in the back of my head, ever since one of my regulars mentioned doing it on a show. After searching around, I felt like I had a general idea and decided to give it a shot. I grabbed my rechargeable Magic Wand and started with it on the second setting. The first round I didn’t think I would be able to stop. It is, in my opinion, is the hardest one, because I have become so accustomed to letting my body have quick satisfaction. Thankfully I followed through, and once I came to the ultimate edge, I yanked the wand back. My body immediately jumped, and I could feel my clit pounding. I quickly bumped the wand up to level 3 and proceeded to go another round.

I never really had a set number of stops, but after the fifth or sixth time, I figured ten would be the big finale. The first five rounds were increasingly difficult to stop the orgasm since I still wasn’t used to my stopping point and the buildup seemed to come quicker. I thought for sure on the fourth try I would explode, but I found it in me to keep going. I noticed after each stopping point; it took me a little bit to get worked up again, but when I was, the brink or an orgasm came almost instantly. It was like I skipped the buildup, which was exciting and different. The last two rounds were the hardest. The anticipation of reaching my goal was becoming unbearable. The final stop instantly made my body jump and convulse when I flung the wand off my clit. I knew the end was almost here.

After the final stop, my body was shaking. It was hard to keep the wand off. I decided to mix it up a little bit. I wanted the final round to be the ultimate tease to my body. I started the wand at level one, which doesn’t normally do anything for me. Since I was so worked up, level one gave me a nice jolt and got me pretty close. Level two was a nice change of pace but had the same effect as the first. The third got me right to where I wanted; the buildup I had become pleasantly accustomed to. This time, I knew it was different. Instead of pulling the wand away I decided to go, big or go home. My hands were shaking, and I was barely able to kick it up to four. When I hit the final level, the feeling was indescribable. It was almost surreal to experience. I felt myself get extremely wet and realized I just squirted. After my orgasm, I collapsed. I couldn’t move, and my mind was completely blank. I laid out on the bed smiling to myself that Ms. Instant Gratification was able to learn patience and experience a mind blowing orgasm. Seriously, if you want the ultimate orgasm, you have to try edging. I promise it will is well worth the wait.

Yes I Like Older Men, No, I’m Not A Gold Digger

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a thing for older men. When I say older, I don’t mean by a couple of years, but a couple of decades. I have dated men from 18-50, and I have found as I approach my mid-20s, that I am like a magnet to older men, but it’s not for the reasons people would expect. Being able to go places you’ve never been, and thoughtful gifts are great, don’t get me wrong, but I am the type of woman that likes to do things on my own. I would rather have a stable support system for achieving the goals that I have set for myself, over someone who will do everything for me. I have dated both ends of the older man spectrum. The ones who try to take care of me and act as “dad” don’t usually last as long as the ones who are there to be my equal. I’m a sucker for personal space, so clinginess and jealousy will turn me off in a heartbeat. You can’t blame a girl either for enjoying having a car door opened for her, or receiving a phone call every day rather than text conversations back and forth. Dating an older man is a whole new world, and I think a lot of people have misconceptions about how a true older/younger relationship can be, especially with the stigma of all of them being about sugar babies and gold diggers.

I want to start off by saying that I am not here to bash younger men. I’ve spent most of my teens and early twenties with them. They’re just not my bag. I will also point out there have been some older men I have not had great relationships with. To prove my point, I will start out with an example of a relationship that didn’t work out, and ended fairly quickly.

My first relationship with a man older came to me out of the blue. I was attracted to him instantly, and although I knew he was older than me, I didn’t care to know the age gap (found out later it was 20 years). He seemed confident and knew what he wanted so we started dating shortly after. Unfortunately, this encounter wasn’t exactly how I imagined it would be. At first, I didn’t feel like he was completely honest with me about his living situation, but I was freshly single and desperate for a boyfriend. Big mistake. When he moved to a different apartment, I was there all the time. He started coming over to my place more, and it wasn’t until he pushed for us to move in together after a couple of weeks that I found out I can’t stand clinginess. It wasn’t just me that noticed it either. I soon had my friends asking if we had moved in because he never seemed to stay away. He also wasn’t very careful with money. I realized that he was blowing money on me to try and impress me, but did the complete opposite when I eventually had to loan him money to pay his bills. It didn’t take long for the relationship to end.

After that relationship, I ended up getting into another one with an older man and it was entirely different. All of the issues I had with the last one diminished completely.

I liked the fact that my new boyfriend was completely supportive of what I wanted to accomplish. I told him about my goals for the future, and he did all he could to assist, but not do them for me. He wasn’t threatened anytime I finished a goal, but was there with a celebratory drink, or hug and kiss. It was the same for him. I never kept him from accomplishing things he wanted to do as hard as it was. We would go weeks without seeing each other, and sometimes it felt like I had signed up for a long distance relationship. As long as we trusted each other I knew it would work out. It also gave me the distance I craved.

The distance between us was also a huge deal for me. I like to go out and do my own thing or hang with my group of friends. I also wanted to pursue my interests that he didn’t enjoy doing, but did just to spend time with me. There were no jealousy or guilt trips when I went out and did my own thing, which was a huge relief, especially with my past relationship, and marriage. We would occasionally check in with each other throughout the day, and when we finally had some downtime, we would usually be able to have a long phone conversation, which is something I took for granted.

Since technology has completely changed the way we communicate with each other, it’s pleasant to go back to the roots of it and be able to have a simple phone conversation. I’m a fan of texting small things here and there throughout the days, (naturally both of us are busy), but there are some instances it’s nice to sit down for an hour or two and have a simple conversation. That’s another reason to love older men. A lot of them grew up in the era of just simple telephones, no texting, or emailing. Sure, it sucks that they don’t know how to use social media or work a simple app, but I have also found that the lack of them being online so much also leads to more quality time, as well as less drama. Your relationship has a better chance of being free of complications if other people can’t get into it.

One thing that might become a slight issue for some is the increased risk of “baggage.” Of course, with age comes experience, families, and exes. I have been able to overlook it, because as much as I am not a fan of baggage, most older men have it, and have learned how to get over it and be cordial if they do have any ties with people from their past. I also have some baggage, so as long as they are accepting of mine, it’s fair for me to uphold the same respect.

The last point I would like to make about dating an older man is a whole new world of respect and how you’re treated. Unfortunately, I’ve never had a door open for me, or a chair pulled out until I dated out of my age range. I’ve never had someone walk on the outside closer to the road either. Simple stuff that used to be normal back in their day now becomes normal in yours. You realize that all of this time you’ve been missing out.

Dating an older man is not for everyone. It takes a particular individual to become invested in the relationship, without focusing on money.  A lot of them can sniff out if you’re in it for the money, (trust me, I’ve asked) which some, that’s their thing. It’s not one of the easiest things I’ve done. Mentioning the relationship to friends and family can be difficult, but thankfully, I’m not as close to mine as other people are. The bottom line is this; if you feel like it’s something you want to try, just make sure you’re in it for all the right reasons. It’s tough as hell some days, and you will get a lot of judgemental stares when you go out, but other people’s opinions don’t matter if you’re happy, right? There will be some disagreements, and they will be handled differently given the age gaps, but I have to say despite all the minor issues I have had dating older men, I wouldn’t change my ways.

Finding Myself After Divorce

After the incident, I had no doubt in my mind that divorce would be the only choice for me. When I got married I told my husband there was one thing I wouldn’t tolerate: any kind of abuse. When the line had been crossed, we headed to the lawyers. I loved my husband in the beginning, but I really hadn’t taken the time to get to know him, or myself before we tied the knot. We were young and dumb and moved way too fast. I didn’t believe it then, and I know it’s so cliche, but you really can’t love someone unless you love yourself first.

When I first met my husband I was just happy to find someone who wanted to be with me for the long run for once. I had been through countless short relationships and one night stands before him, so it was nice to have someone take an interest so quickly. Back then I didn’t realize how unhealthy it was for us to be moving so fast, but looking back now, if we would have gotten to know each other this whole mess probably wouldn’t have happened. I can’t complain, though; even though the marriage ended we still had our good times.

When I first left my ex-husband I had nothing. I was taking care of my son and his, had no job, car, or anything but the clothes in my closet to call my own. Thankfully I was able to land a job at the local adult store, but I still had a lot more that I needed to work on. Even after the split, I thought I knew everything and had my shit together, but I quickly got slapped in the face by life and realized I wasn’t as much of an adult as I thought I was.

It took me 5 times to move in a year before I was finally able to settle down in my own place and focus on me for a change. I still slept around during the separation stage, and we both did our own thing. I was drinking heavily and most nights blacked out from the alcohol. Alcohol became my sleeping drug, and it wasn’t until I had a really bad hangover at work one day for me to realize I had a problem. It wasn’t really until I quit drinking that I realized I seriously had to do some soul searching to get my shit together if I wanted to continue living a happy life with my son.

When I first moved out on my own, it was the first time I experienced having my own bills. I have always had a phone bill since I was a teenager, but one bill compared to a whole slew of them was fucking overwhelming. There were times I considered leaving and getting rid of all of them, but I realized my ex-husband was expecting me to fail. I trudged on working sometimes for almost two weeks at a time to make ends meet, but I still always felt like I was behind. Once I finally got a budget going I was able to get everything on track, but I still felt like I didn’t have enough time for myself. I have always struggled with depression, and I felt it slowly creeping back. I decided to surround myself with friends and finally found some alone time to unwind.

In the time I spent to myself, I found some outlets and discovered that there were some hobbies that helped deal with the stress and depression. I started writing to go through my problems and found out a lot about myself. I started taking myself out to dinner and lunch. I didn’t rely on anyone else being around me. It felt great to sit in the corner and watch the world around me and see other people interact with each other. I have always been the type of person that has to have someone by my side no matter what I do. It was scary, but relieving to finally gain my own independence.

“It felt great to sit in the corner and watch the world around me and see other people interact with each other.”

After spending some time alone, I realized that even though I wasn’t where I wanted to be, I still came a far way over the past two years. I was able to leave a bad situation with nothing to my name, and turn a home into my own and have my own interests. When I was married I never had my own thoughts or hobbies. Everything I liked it was because he liked it. I found myself watching shows I would never imagine hitting play on, and reading books that would have never caught my interest. I discovered a whole new world of music and realized how much I loved vinyl records. I started cooking more and trying new foods. Some of the creations I made I would have turned my nose up at simply because he didn’t like them. I figured out now, looking back that there were so many things I missed out on by following whatever my ex-husband did.

While I was married I remember shutting out a lot of my friends. I felt guilty leaving the house to have fun with my friends while my ex-husband stayed at home, but then I understood that it was more him giving me a guilt trip, rather than me being a shitty wife. I was able to still have friends and see them even though I was married and it didn’t mean I loved him any less. That was one of the biggest obstacles to overcome after the divorce because  most of my friends, understandably, wanted nothing to do with me; however the ones that did stick around during the divorce and after the separation understood that I was in a controlling relationship and were just waiting for me to come to the truth on my own. There was no bashing when I finally came to my senses, just open arms, and hearts and a lot of mutual coming to realizations about things. My friends are one of the main things that have kept me going through this long journey and  I can’t thank them enough to this day.

Patience is never something I have had luck with. I always want stuff to happen when I want it to. I am still working on it to this day, but I have come a far way. Nothing ever comes to you when you want it to, and despite what people say, good things don’t come to those who wait. I worked my ass off for everything I wanted and needed, and although it took a lot longer than I wanted to, it was so rewarding to see all my hard work pay off. I was able to get a promotion and a couple of raises at my job and earned a lot more respect once I started to carry myself like I gave a fuck about my life. Once I realized that others could see my hard work, it pushed me to do more in my personal life.

I started working on my credit, which was shot all to hell. I was able to pay off a lot of small debts that I had and raise my score by almost 200 points. I was never one of those people who worried about credit scores, but when you’re out on your own, your credit score is the gateway to getting what you want. I was able to start saving money and working towards goals to get myself nice things. I am currently on the road to owning my first house, hopefully by 30, which is something my ex was never interested in. I wasn’t either, but it was one of those things I realized I took from him. One of these days I will post a picture of my brand new house, and I will smile knowing that I did it all on my own. One day I will have my dream home, which I earned by running my own business. Speaking of owning a business; it’s amazing what can possibly be put into a reality when you take the time to learn the tools to get EXACTLY what you want. I don’t currently own my own business, but the main thing I have come to learn about myself through all this was that one day big things will happen for me.

Working on loving myself was and still continues to be one of the hardest obstacles in my life. There are some days I still complain about how shitty I have it and how I’m not doing anything with my life, but when I finally understand what my life would have been like, had I stayed, I probably wouldn’t be here to tell it. Take some time for yourself and just be alone. Shut all your thoughts off, and just be thankful for everything you have. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, let alone write. I am way too hard on myself every day, and I need to stop because I know I have come a far way. I believe getting to know myself was the main reason behind it.

5 Self-Revelations from Working at a Sex Shop

Before I got a job working at a sex shop, I had zero experience with anything past your basic straight vibrator. I considered doggy style to be the bees knees, and I had no idea how my body worked, I didn’t even know what anal sex entailed, or that straight men even liked it. I couldn’t tell you the difference between lubes to save my life, and I was completely uncomfortable mentioning anything sexual around anyone I knew. I have come a far way since I got the job two years ago, and some of the things I have learned have not only helped me with my job, but as well as my sex life, and personal relationships. Since there has been so much I’ve been able to learn, I’ve composed a list of the most exciting things.

1. The stuff I knew nothing about, became my favorite.

As I mentioned before I knew there were other items out there such as bullets and realistic vibrators, but I never knew the amount of different things people could be into. I have seen women smaller than me pick up 14-inch dongs, and men who have bought butt plugs the size of an arm. I was shocked to learn that there was a whole style dedicated to people who like to inflict pain, or receive it, and I was even more shocked when I realized how much I was into it myself. I never thought I would be able to even get spanked during sex, let alone getting choked, slapped, and spanked to the point of a black and blue ass. It was one of those experiences I would have never tried if I would have kept a closed mind. One of my favorite things to this day has to be getting choked right before orgasm and being bent over the bed getting hit with a crop, hand, or paddle repeatedly until I can’t sit down the next day.

2. Using lube doesn’t mean you’re dried out.

Lube is one of the most important things you can use during sex or masturbation. Water based is my favorite and I use it for everything. As much as I didn’t believe it, it has made a world of difference in masturbation as well as sex. I find that everything slides easier, and it’s so much smoother when gliding toys across my clit. It also makes anal sex so much better (granted, you don’t use a desensitizer and reach for the Sassy, or whatever your preference). I’ve also learned that silicone lubricant is great for smoothing my hair and making it frizz free, as well as fixing squeaky door hinges. It’s also great for sex in the shower since it won’t wash away, but, unfortunately, I have also learned my body doesn’t react well with it, so it’s mainly for topical use in my case. It can be great for anal as well, in fact, it’s the most preferred lube for it.

3. There’s more than doggy style and missionary, and it still feels good.

Doggy style used to be my go-to move for reach orgasm, and I wasn’t able to end sex without doing it. I can honestly say I have picked up so many different tips and tricks, that I can’t say I’ve been bent over in a long time. Reading some of the books we have at work has truly helped my sex life. I have learned some positions I have been able to do only once, and I have found some positions I have to do every single time. It doesn’t just stop at sex either. I have been able to spice up masturbation by putting myself into some pretty interesting positions, which in turn has helped me learn how my body works, and what I need to do to get me off.

4. Speaking of getting off…

It’s no surprise that clitoral is my go to orgasm. I have never had a problem achieving it, but I could never seem to get the full release I always used to hear about. Mentioning it to anyone I knew without stammering and turning red was a foreign thing to me. Since I’ve worked at the store, I have learned about the elusive g-spot orgasm, as well as having a few. I have also learned that I am a squirter and that the intense peeing sensation was just the lead up right before the big bang. I have learned what angles I need as well as the amounts of pressure and power I need. I always thought the clit was just there, but I have been able to find out which side works best for me, as well as learning more about my clitoral hood. As if the g-spot orgasms weren’t exciting enough, once you get into the anal orgasms….it’s a done deal. It’s pretty intense to have something in every orifice in your body and to climax from each one. Being able to talk openly about masturbation with friends and complete strangers, was my biggest obstacle, but I find without being able to do it, I wouldn’t have as rewarding of a job.

5. I am better at helping people than I realized.

One odd thing about me is the fact that I don’t like people (great for retail, right?), being around a big group, and I have really high anxiety with meeting new people. I have never been able to go up to a person and start a conversation, but at this job I am forced to. I have formed bonds with the most unlikely of people, and I know for a fact I have saved some marriages. Some of the questions customers ask me I have to take seriously. Although we do get a lot of people wanting to joke around and play when I get the serious ones, it’s rewarding to know that they are coming to me to help with an issue that can be life changing if solved. I am so glad I took the time to get used to the job rather than quitting. If anything this job has taught me to step out of my comfort zone in more ways than one, and it has made me a different person than I was 2 years ago.